Martin Luther King, Jr day is a day I never thought much about - except it seemed like we always got a snow day on it in Ohio when I was in school (great for me since we never got it off as a holiday). Today, I think more about the holiday because of my kids. With my multi-colored specially from God family, I am thankful for the steps made to stem racial hatred - now if only more people would pick up the baton and be accepting of all races - especially families who are blended in this fashion.
People often don't like to accept what they can't understand - and to some people, understanding why a white couple would have black children is totally incomprehensible. We have had so many comments made about our kids. It makes me sad - my kids are special gifts given to us by God - and He didn't look at all our colors and decided we couldn't live together. In fact, having a "blended" family gives us a lot of great opportunities to teach our kids about people's similarities and differences. We like to use M and M candies - they are all different on the outside, but the inside is exactly the same in every single one, chocolate!
I greatly appreciate the people who are kind to us, who talk to the kids, who encourage us in our walk through this life. A smile to my kids is light in my heart! We are blessed with our kids, and I hope that as the world focuses today on less hate for the races that maybe some people will find it in their hearts to be accepting of families who are blended in color - not just black, many families have Asian or Indian children or Mexican children. Multi-colored families are families the same as any other, they just have more opportunities to discuss with their children how God made all of us the same on the inside - with a purpose to love and serve Him!
Monday, January 16, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
Watching for God
I'm so thankful to see God work in my life and the lives of my children. I look back on the events of the past week in our lives, and I am still overwhelmed at the things that happened. I still feel somewhat frightened, but more importantly, I still get chills because I saw my God come down and touch our home and our lives right in front of my eyes. And that gives me a renewed desire to have my God in EVERY part of my adoption, foster care process. Without Him, we are nothing and potentially we would have nothing. God is good, all the time. No matter what. Hard to swallow sometimes. But good to see in action.
I am also learning this week to pray specifically. God answered a prayer I had about a child this week, and He answered it the way I prayed. Now, I am praying for something more specific. It is nice to realize that we have a God who cares even about small details that may not matter to others.
Having a relationship with God as a mother has become more and more important to me as time goes. A good friend ran across the following devotional for mothers. It really hit a cord with me. Please read it. For me, it helped me to realize that my relationship with God isn't a check box. It is a process, one that goes throughout each day - in small moments of intimacy with my God. Wow, a huge thought especially after my unique experience of seeing Him work so dramatically this week. Intimacy with God while changing diapers, cleaning the floor, doing laundry. It's possible and unique for a mom and makes life so much richer!
Good morning, God, I’m so gra– (excuse me, God).
“You can have a snack after lunch.”
I’m so grateful for th– (just a second, God).
“Your shoes are in the laundry room.”
I’m so grateful for this time we ha– (sorry for the interruption, God).
“They’re there. Moooove things.”
I’m so grateful for the time we have together to– (God, I think we’ll have to continue this lat–).
“No, you are not old enough to change baby’s poopy diaper. I’M COMING!”
Complete sentences. What a luxury.
This was one of the first things my friends commented on when I suddenly became a mother through the miracle of adoption at the age of thirty-one. We used to spend hours talking each week about the great mysteries of life. I was a highly focused conversationalist - a sincere listener who was rarely distracted.
Now? Well, I am still a sincere listener – I am continually listening for the sounds and (of greater concern) the non-sounds of my three children whenever I am on the phone. Frankly, I think I miss half of what my friends say and it can take minutes to complete a single sentence if I do not forget what it was we were talking about in the first place.
In addition to giving me more empathy for those who live with attention-deficit disorders, this new chronically interrupted era of life has provided an opportunity for me to reconsider how I nurture relationships – with my husband, with my children, with my friends, and especially with my God.
Specifically, the new era revealed a weakness: I was too dependent on shared words, on well-formed sentences, on neat and tidy blocks of time.
The last dozen years have affirmed an encouraging reality: intimacy with God is not on hold, waiting for me to control my environment and carve out serene aromatic spaces. Intimacy with God is not on pause until I can complete sentences and listen without interruptions.
Each minute of every loud, distracting day is pregnant with potential for intimacy if I can simply and intentionally live it with God.
Being with God was – and still is – the first priority of a disciple’s job description:
Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. He appointed twelve – designating them apostles – that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons. Mark 3:13-15
The Gospels record Jesus’ conversations and teachings. However, the printed page cannot convey what a 24/7 camera would have captured. Most of Jesus’ three years with the disciples was spent not in deep ponderings but in daily proximity. They simply experienced life side by side, walking together, sitting together, working together, and consciously being near one another.
Right now, this same Jesus is with us. With or without interruptions. With or without words.
As we awaken each morning, God issues us a personal invitation to intimacy.
I am also learning this week to pray specifically. God answered a prayer I had about a child this week, and He answered it the way I prayed. Now, I am praying for something more specific. It is nice to realize that we have a God who cares even about small details that may not matter to others.
Having a relationship with God as a mother has become more and more important to me as time goes. A good friend ran across the following devotional for mothers. It really hit a cord with me. Please read it. For me, it helped me to realize that my relationship with God isn't a check box. It is a process, one that goes throughout each day - in small moments of intimacy with my God. Wow, a huge thought especially after my unique experience of seeing Him work so dramatically this week. Intimacy with God while changing diapers, cleaning the floor, doing laundry. It's possible and unique for a mom and makes life so much richer!
Good morning, God, I’m so gra– (excuse me, God).
“You can have a snack after lunch.”
I’m so grateful for th– (just a second, God).
“Your shoes are in the laundry room.”
I’m so grateful for this time we ha– (sorry for the interruption, God).
“They’re there. Moooove things.”
I’m so grateful for the time we have together to– (God, I think we’ll have to continue this lat–).
“No, you are not old enough to change baby’s poopy diaper. I’M COMING!”
Complete sentences. What a luxury.
This was one of the first things my friends commented on when I suddenly became a mother through the miracle of adoption at the age of thirty-one. We used to spend hours talking each week about the great mysteries of life. I was a highly focused conversationalist - a sincere listener who was rarely distracted.
Now? Well, I am still a sincere listener – I am continually listening for the sounds and (of greater concern) the non-sounds of my three children whenever I am on the phone. Frankly, I think I miss half of what my friends say and it can take minutes to complete a single sentence if I do not forget what it was we were talking about in the first place.
In addition to giving me more empathy for those who live with attention-deficit disorders, this new chronically interrupted era of life has provided an opportunity for me to reconsider how I nurture relationships – with my husband, with my children, with my friends, and especially with my God.
Specifically, the new era revealed a weakness: I was too dependent on shared words, on well-formed sentences, on neat and tidy blocks of time.
The last dozen years have affirmed an encouraging reality: intimacy with God is not on hold, waiting for me to control my environment and carve out serene aromatic spaces. Intimacy with God is not on pause until I can complete sentences and listen without interruptions.
Each minute of every loud, distracting day is pregnant with potential for intimacy if I can simply and intentionally live it with God.
Being with God was – and still is – the first priority of a disciple’s job description:
Jesus went up on a mountainside and called to him those he wanted, and they came to him. He appointed twelve – designating them apostles – that they might be with him and that he might send them out to preach and to have authority to drive out demons. Mark 3:13-15
The Gospels record Jesus’ conversations and teachings. However, the printed page cannot convey what a 24/7 camera would have captured. Most of Jesus’ three years with the disciples was spent not in deep ponderings but in daily proximity. They simply experienced life side by side, walking together, sitting together, working together, and consciously being near one another.
Right now, this same Jesus is with us. With or without interruptions. With or without words.
As we awaken each morning, God issues us a personal invitation to intimacy.
Thursday, January 5, 2012
Through the Valley
"Attacked by Satan? Of course he attacked! Adoption IS Grace in action, and God has used you to undo the consequences of sin and evil. When you risk a rescue from behind enemy lines, you should expect the enemy to retaliate. Jesus Himself wasn't immune from that effect. They hated Him first." A quote by one of our friends today that adequately describes our day.
I can't give details on my blog. But I will say we have been severely attacked by the Enemy. But our God showed up! He was hear, He was present, He was near! And that feeling, my friends, is calming, and truly amazing. God really can use anyone - even a child to do His bidding. Wow! Our God is bigger than our Enemy.
Trying to remember that - no matter how the events of this day play out in our future. We have a lot of decisions to make throughout the next few days. We love our precious boys and we have their safety to think about. We also have our own sanity to consider. Days like today are not possible to endure more than a few times in your life.
We have so much support around us. Thank you so much for the prayers given on our behalf sometimes when people didn't even know our situation. Our whole family - my husband, myself, and definitely our kids walked through the valley today. You think I am joking, but unfortunately, I am totally being truthful. I definitely do not understand how people who don't know our God make it through these scary encounters without Him. Seeing Him work humbles me. Thanking Him for His grace in our lives. Jesus wasn't surprised by our day, and He held us through it.
Adoption and foster care come with severe risks - none that you can't get through. But the decisions involve whether our boys deal with intense scrutiny or they live normal baby boy lives. It involves whether we continue to adopt or foster even. This is the largest mountain we have yet to encounter. We want to make sure that our God is first in our lives - and that we are not serving two masters. God's laws over man's laws. Not a hard choice but could have hard consequences when they come head to head.
I can't give details on my blog. But I will say we have been severely attacked by the Enemy. But our God showed up! He was hear, He was present, He was near! And that feeling, my friends, is calming, and truly amazing. God really can use anyone - even a child to do His bidding. Wow! Our God is bigger than our Enemy.
Trying to remember that - no matter how the events of this day play out in our future. We have a lot of decisions to make throughout the next few days. We love our precious boys and we have their safety to think about. We also have our own sanity to consider. Days like today are not possible to endure more than a few times in your life.
We have so much support around us. Thank you so much for the prayers given on our behalf sometimes when people didn't even know our situation. Our whole family - my husband, myself, and definitely our kids walked through the valley today. You think I am joking, but unfortunately, I am totally being truthful. I definitely do not understand how people who don't know our God make it through these scary encounters without Him. Seeing Him work humbles me. Thanking Him for His grace in our lives. Jesus wasn't surprised by our day, and He held us through it.
Adoption and foster care come with severe risks - none that you can't get through. But the decisions involve whether our boys deal with intense scrutiny or they live normal baby boy lives. It involves whether we continue to adopt or foster even. This is the largest mountain we have yet to encounter. We want to make sure that our God is first in our lives - and that we are not serving two masters. God's laws over man's laws. Not a hard choice but could have hard consequences when they come head to head.
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
Book Review "Wait No More"
Focus on the Family graciously gave me a free copy of "Wait No More," a book by Kelly and John Rosati detailing their journey through foster care adoption. Of course, in my situation, having adopted two babies and being a foster mom, this book really touched me heart. And on a more personal note, it really allowed God to work in my heart for me to be open to our third child that we now have. Amazing how God works in mysterious ways. I had no idea that doing a book review would soften my heart to the idea of another child - that we now have. Thus, my book review is a few weeks late. But here it is.
This is basically the story of a couple who could not have children. Through a series of events, they were led to begin foster care. They had several difficult experiences in the beginning and wondered if they even wanted to continue (I've been in that boat too). But they ended up adopting four children through foster care - each with different backgrounds, and different stores to tell - but now all loved in a forever home.
I found this to be a very upbeat book, really showing the good points of foster care; while being totally honest about the rough patches, this is something not many authors can do well. The book really makes your heart tug for the children needing homes. And it makes you want to do all you can to help them. I had thought I was done with children for a while. I read this book and God really started working on my heart about what else I could do. Literally the next day or two is when the call came for us to take another child.
This book really showed the role that God has to play in your adoption, and even your marriage as you go through the ups and downs of the adoption process. They showed the role of prayer in their adoption, through grief when losing children, and when presented with split second decisions on foster/adoption options.
I would recommend this book to anyone thinking about adoption through foster care. It is a clear picture of what adoption really looks like in the foster care system - the realities of what you will face. But it also shows the absolute joys that come with adoption and forever children!
This is basically the story of a couple who could not have children. Through a series of events, they were led to begin foster care. They had several difficult experiences in the beginning and wondered if they even wanted to continue (I've been in that boat too). But they ended up adopting four children through foster care - each with different backgrounds, and different stores to tell - but now all loved in a forever home.
I found this to be a very upbeat book, really showing the good points of foster care; while being totally honest about the rough patches, this is something not many authors can do well. The book really makes your heart tug for the children needing homes. And it makes you want to do all you can to help them. I had thought I was done with children for a while. I read this book and God really started working on my heart about what else I could do. Literally the next day or two is when the call came for us to take another child.
This book really showed the role that God has to play in your adoption, and even your marriage as you go through the ups and downs of the adoption process. They showed the role of prayer in their adoption, through grief when losing children, and when presented with split second decisions on foster/adoption options.
I would recommend this book to anyone thinking about adoption through foster care. It is a clear picture of what adoption really looks like in the foster care system - the realities of what you will face. But it also shows the absolute joys that come with adoption and forever children!
Saturday, December 31, 2011
Looking Ahead - 2012
2012, wow. Crazy to think that we have come this far! I remember being in high school, thinking I'll never get married, I'll never have kids, ect. Yes, well, here I am married, and have had five children through my home this year. This year is a good one to look back on. I have had relatively good health, thankfully, NO surgeries. After 12, that is quite a praise to make it a year with none! And we have two forever little boys. There is no bigger praise than that. Nothing more can really be said, but that God has blessed us more than we deserve. And I am so thankful for them. I am thankful for the gift of being Mommy. I am not always very good at it. But He has blessed me with the time to try, the lives to mold into men for Him. Looking back, thinking I would never have my own children, and now I have three - two of them forever! Thank you, Lord! Really, nothing more needs said, but we are blessed!
I always get a bit reflective on New Years' Eve wondering what next year will hold. And of course, this year, the same questions are in my mind. But this time last year, we only had one little boy. We have gone from one child to three! Who knows what the next year will bring! Maybe I should be scared. We grew exponentially this year! You can't be a foster parent without wondering what the future holds. I wonder it every day. But definitely on the dawn of a new year. We hope and we pray, but we really don't know until we walk the road that this year holds.
I pray that this is the year that my children learn more about God, about being real, about growing in Him. I have hope that they will be saved at an early age. And I also pray that they will absolutely understand deeply what it means to have a relationship with Jesus, a real one. I pray that this year I will exhibit this for them, that they will know that their Mommy loves Jesus. So much for a parent to realize is their responsibility. We are shaping little lives helping point them towards their Savior. May I do my job well!
I pray for health for my children and my husband and I. We have walked the road of illness with each child. It is not a road that I would like to travel again, so definitely good health is on my wishlist for the new year!
I pray for peace in our household. I hope that we continue to learn how to develop the personalities of each of the children, that we teach them to obey, that they learn to get along with each other and with us as their parents, that calmness with reign in our household for the most part. That may seem to be a strange wish, but bringing children into your home that come at 9 months, 1 year, or even closer to 2, means that they already have personality traits, and even some values, that have to be melded into the household. And it is not always peaceful. I pray for peace.
I pray for safety for each of us as we have no idea what the future holds. I pray that we will look back at the end of 2012 and have as many good memories of that year as we do of this year. I pray that we will add more to our family by adoption. I also pray that we will know when to quit LOL. I pray that my children will have truly grown in knowledge, and stature, and in favor with God and with man.
We have been given three little gifts for now. I hope that we can be all to them that they need. The parents that they haven't experienced appropriately in their short lives. I pray that even though they know they are adopted, that they will be utterly secure in our love for them and that they will know that beyond everything else in this world that we love them more than life itself and are eternally thankful that they have been brought by God to us. It is amazing to think of the circumstances that have brought each child to our lives. Now may we be worthy of the gifts we have been given.
I always get a bit reflective on New Years' Eve wondering what next year will hold. And of course, this year, the same questions are in my mind. But this time last year, we only had one little boy. We have gone from one child to three! Who knows what the next year will bring! Maybe I should be scared. We grew exponentially this year! You can't be a foster parent without wondering what the future holds. I wonder it every day. But definitely on the dawn of a new year. We hope and we pray, but we really don't know until we walk the road that this year holds.
I pray that this is the year that my children learn more about God, about being real, about growing in Him. I have hope that they will be saved at an early age. And I also pray that they will absolutely understand deeply what it means to have a relationship with Jesus, a real one. I pray that this year I will exhibit this for them, that they will know that their Mommy loves Jesus. So much for a parent to realize is their responsibility. We are shaping little lives helping point them towards their Savior. May I do my job well!
I pray for health for my children and my husband and I. We have walked the road of illness with each child. It is not a road that I would like to travel again, so definitely good health is on my wishlist for the new year!
I pray for peace in our household. I hope that we continue to learn how to develop the personalities of each of the children, that we teach them to obey, that they learn to get along with each other and with us as their parents, that calmness with reign in our household for the most part. That may seem to be a strange wish, but bringing children into your home that come at 9 months, 1 year, or even closer to 2, means that they already have personality traits, and even some values, that have to be melded into the household. And it is not always peaceful. I pray for peace.
I pray for safety for each of us as we have no idea what the future holds. I pray that we will look back at the end of 2012 and have as many good memories of that year as we do of this year. I pray that we will add more to our family by adoption. I also pray that we will know when to quit LOL. I pray that my children will have truly grown in knowledge, and stature, and in favor with God and with man.
We have been given three little gifts for now. I hope that we can be all to them that they need. The parents that they haven't experienced appropriately in their short lives. I pray that even though they know they are adopted, that they will be utterly secure in our love for them and that they will know that beyond everything else in this world that we love them more than life itself and are eternally thankful that they have been brought by God to us. It is amazing to think of the circumstances that have brought each child to our lives. Now may we be worthy of the gifts we have been given.
Sunday, December 25, 2011
Christmas Miracles
Christmas Day! I hadn't quite been feeling very Christmasy just because of the adoption and getting through all of that. But last night my husband put up our tree and we decorated it after the kids were in bed. To see their little faces light up when they saw it was priceless.
We are generally with family for Christmas, but this year for many reasons, we had decided not to travel. I'm glad for the decision. It is wonderful to begin to make traditions with our kids that we can use for many years to come. We certainly hope we can spend time with family during the holidays, but a quiet Christmas with just our kids was very, very nice. The kids enjoyed their presents, our oldest of course more than the babies. We read them the Christmas story and then they opened their presents. And we ended the morning ritual with cinnamon rolls for breakfast! We did make a traditional Christmas dinner just on a smaller scale, and that was nice.
It's been a relaxing day, but one of reflection as well. This time last year, we had no idea what our lives would hold this year. Now we have two little boys now and a little girl. We have gone through our second adoption, which is amazing. And all in all we are completely, totally blessed.
Thinking much about how Mary must have felt, holding her baby in her arms for the first time. She knew He would be great. What a feeling I'm sure. And from Joseph's perspective, he adopted Jesus and loved Him as his very own. We are trying to teach our kids that this is the true meaning of Christmas. A baby who came to earth to save us all from our sins! What a big responsibility that baby had. And He of course fulfilled it.
I pray that my children will be all that God wants them to be in the coming years. I pray that their little feet will take them into places where they can most shine Christ's glory and show His love to all they encounter. We have been given a great privilege to raise these special, precious children. And above all, we want them to understand that they have a need of a Savior. And then that they will grow up in wisdom, and in stature, and in favor with God and man.
We are generally with family for Christmas, but this year for many reasons, we had decided not to travel. I'm glad for the decision. It is wonderful to begin to make traditions with our kids that we can use for many years to come. We certainly hope we can spend time with family during the holidays, but a quiet Christmas with just our kids was very, very nice. The kids enjoyed their presents, our oldest of course more than the babies. We read them the Christmas story and then they opened their presents. And we ended the morning ritual with cinnamon rolls for breakfast! We did make a traditional Christmas dinner just on a smaller scale, and that was nice.
It's been a relaxing day, but one of reflection as well. This time last year, we had no idea what our lives would hold this year. Now we have two little boys now and a little girl. We have gone through our second adoption, which is amazing. And all in all we are completely, totally blessed.
Thinking much about how Mary must have felt, holding her baby in her arms for the first time. She knew He would be great. What a feeling I'm sure. And from Joseph's perspective, he adopted Jesus and loved Him as his very own. We are trying to teach our kids that this is the true meaning of Christmas. A baby who came to earth to save us all from our sins! What a big responsibility that baby had. And He of course fulfilled it.
I pray that my children will be all that God wants them to be in the coming years. I pray that their little feet will take them into places where they can most shine Christ's glory and show His love to all they encounter. We have been given a great privilege to raise these special, precious children. And above all, we want them to understand that they have a need of a Savior. And then that they will grow up in wisdom, and in stature, and in favor with God and man.
Thursday, December 22, 2011
ADOPTION DAY!
"It is therefore adjudged that the male child born August 11, 2010, in Pensacola, Florida, is the legal child of his parents and is their legal heir at law. He is therefore entitled to all of the rights and privileges and subject to all of the obligations of a child born to the Petitioners. It is further adjudged that the child shall be given a new lawful name, by which he shall be known hereafter."
Today, December 22, 2011, was the best day we have had since May 27, 2011, when our precious baby boy came into home. We have had a son for almost exactly seven months - however, today, he has taken our name. And for that, we are supremely thankful. As my husband aptly said, "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given." And it does make one think of the awe that Mary and Joseph must have felt holding their baby in their arms for the very first time. Amazement, joy, awe, thankfulness, with a couple choked up throats and wet eyes thrown in.
We have had such a team of people praying for us, loving us, listening to us, encouraging us, and even coming to our adoption to support us. These people are the people who have made helped make our dreams come true. Without you, and a HUGE God we would not have had this day in our lives. Our God has given us the best Christmas present that I could have ever asked for. And we are blessed.
Our judge was so kind and thoughtful. He said he would even be "honored" to have his picture taken with us. Wow, that was amazing. (Especially after our last adoption experience when the judge could have cared less.) This judge has had our baby boy from the beginning in his court room. And so he knows the full story and is so happy for us that it seemed to just radiate from him. He hugged me, shook my husbands hand and made over the boys. That was so nice. He gave us the biggest blessing today signing his name to the above decree making us a forever family of four.
I have no more worries. Our baby is ours forever! Forever, wow, that is an amazingly wonderful word! I'm so beyond happy today, although a bit tired coming down from the adrenaline high :). I am thankful for my friends who drove here from California to be with us, a friend who brought all three of her kids, our friend who thought she would be adopting today, our social workers and guardians, all of those who made this journey a reality. We love you all.
And baby boy, you are loved, you are special, you have our name, and all the rights and privileges of anyone born into our family. For us, these words just make us smile. You have had our hearts for seven months, now you have our names and you are our heir. Thank you for being in our home. Thank you for being our little boy. Now not only are you a child of our heart - you are a child who bears our name!
Today, December 22, 2011, was the best day we have had since May 27, 2011, when our precious baby boy came into home. We have had a son for almost exactly seven months - however, today, he has taken our name. And for that, we are supremely thankful. As my husband aptly said, "For unto us a child is born, unto us a son is given." And it does make one think of the awe that Mary and Joseph must have felt holding their baby in their arms for the very first time. Amazement, joy, awe, thankfulness, with a couple choked up throats and wet eyes thrown in.
We have had such a team of people praying for us, loving us, listening to us, encouraging us, and even coming to our adoption to support us. These people are the people who have made helped make our dreams come true. Without you, and a HUGE God we would not have had this day in our lives. Our God has given us the best Christmas present that I could have ever asked for. And we are blessed.
Our judge was so kind and thoughtful. He said he would even be "honored" to have his picture taken with us. Wow, that was amazing. (Especially after our last adoption experience when the judge could have cared less.) This judge has had our baby boy from the beginning in his court room. And so he knows the full story and is so happy for us that it seemed to just radiate from him. He hugged me, shook my husbands hand and made over the boys. That was so nice. He gave us the biggest blessing today signing his name to the above decree making us a forever family of four.
I have no more worries. Our baby is ours forever! Forever, wow, that is an amazingly wonderful word! I'm so beyond happy today, although a bit tired coming down from the adrenaline high :). I am thankful for my friends who drove here from California to be with us, a friend who brought all three of her kids, our friend who thought she would be adopting today, our social workers and guardians, all of those who made this journey a reality. We love you all.
And baby boy, you are loved, you are special, you have our name, and all the rights and privileges of anyone born into our family. For us, these words just make us smile. You have had our hearts for seven months, now you have our names and you are our heir. Thank you for being in our home. Thank you for being our little boy. Now not only are you a child of our heart - you are a child who bears our name!
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