Can I really???

My Austin is very sick right now. He has asthma, so tends to catch every respiratory illness that even looks sideways at him... Right now, I'm beginning to think he has bronchitis... We have all the medicine for croup, but this time it doesn't seem to be going there (which is a happy first :). Because of his illness, I have been up at odd times rocking him, listening for him to breathe his next breath, ect. It allows for a lot of good praying and thinking time.

Last night, in my devotions (I am reading a book entitled "Live Relationally Lessons from the Women in Genesis" by Lenya Heitzig and Penny Rose) I came across a quote that is making me think. The book is a really interesting look at women that you don't think much about. Right now it is Noah's wife. I finished her section last night. The quote at the end of the lesson is what my heart is pondering right now.

"Meek endurance and meek obedience, the accepting of His dealing, of whatever complexion they are and however they may tear and desolate our hearts, without murmuring, without sulking, without rebellion or resistance, is the deepest conception of the meekness which Christ pronounced blessed."

Wow. Can I really live like this? Accepting no matter what God sends without murmuring, sulking, rebellion, or resistance no matter how it tears at my heart? Can I really do that?

Looking at it in my present situation regarding our fostering newborns, I wonder if I can really have meek endurance and meek obedience... That is a tall order when your heart is breaking. But to have Christ pronounce me blessed, I think it is worth it. But it is hard to remember that as you walk through the sometimes super dark times.

It even applies somewhat to my poor Austin being sick. I hate it so much that he is struggling to breathe, that his whole body is wracked with coughs. Can I be meekly accepting even though it breaks my heart... Every mom experiences her child being sick, but I think every mom also resists the illness. I would rather be sick than have my child be sick for sure.

So back to my original question, can I really live with meek endurance and meek obedience? I pray I can. I think it will be a day by day walk to remember that in the end I want to have Christ pronounce me blessed.