Lessons from my two-year-old

Parenting is an interesting journey. One I think I'm not doing so hot at. But the lessons that I learn each day are so immense that I wouldn't trade this for the world. I just hope I can keep growing and changing and learning these lessons so that maybe one day I am the mommy that my kids need.

My lesson for today... My Austin was running around singing "I'm happy, so very happy, I've got the love of Jesus in my heart." And he is so sincere. Of course, he doesn't fully understand these concepts yet. But he is trying. And he is asking questions.

And I thought about myself, how am I showing that love to him? Probably not in the greatest ways. Yesterday was a difficult day for me. I think it hit me really hard that my precious baby has something wrong with his heart. I was all fine and acting strong the day we found out, but yesterday it about overwhelmed me. And I am frustrated with my job. I am so thankful to be able to work at home, but sometimes it is hard to never be told thank you. I feel like we are always in trouble and nobody cares that 99.5% of the time, we are doing things right. And I am tired and not feeling well - so all that to say, I wasn't in the best of moods. Austin is definitely in the stage of his life where he is finding out his personality - and being argumentative and not always obeying or even trying to obey.

So I was frustrated and angry. And I didn't show Jesus love to him. And I want to. I want my kids to see Jesus love, and mercy, and justice in me. That doesn't mean that I don't want them to obey, but it does mean that I need to work on my attitude and what they see in me - regardless of the circumstances.

I think that sometimes two year olds have a better view of Jesus than we do. Honestly.

And they have a stronger faith. Austin completely trusts me to take care of all of his needs. He knows that I will feed him, clothe him, love him... Why can't I trust my Heavenly Father with these things? He can heal my baby. He can provide the money we need. He can ease the hurts in my heart. If I let Him.

Lessons from a two year old are sometimes harder lessons for me to learn than any others. But I am thankful to have the opportunity to learn them. I know it doesn't mean I won't mess up ever again in my parenting, I will forever. But I hope that some things get better with the lessons I am learning.