Sometimes I am just so overwhelmed by how much I love my children. I can't get pregnant, I will never, ever be able to carry my own child. And you know what - it's ok. It hurts sometimes. I wish I could, but I love my kids so much. What an amazing blessing God gave to us. He formed our kids in their mother's wombs and then He made the circumstances happen so that they would be put into foster care and come to us. We are truly doubly blessed in that regard.
I wish our kids didn't have such rough starts to life, but how could I be anything but amazed and thrilled by God's guidance in their lives and ours to bring us together. Our Austin is such an outgoing, fun child. Some might say he is too loud, but I am just in awe of his fun-loving personality. He loves with his whole heart. And that makes me so proud. I would never, ever change Austin's personality. He makes me smile every day.
The baby is so sweet and quiet. Totally different from Austin. We believe he is going to be a thinker. Isn't it neat how God puts personalities together that are so different but that work together so beautifully?
People have asked us how we feel about having African-American children in a white home. The answer, it totally doesn't matter. God brought our kids to us just as He does when he creates children in the womb of a mother. We know that we face some stigmas and our kids will feel it at some point. But they were CHOSEN by God for us. And that is special. We choose to look at it that way instead of focusing on their differences.
I have tried to be transparent on my blog. I know some people are following it as they begin their adoption journey. Many people adopt from other countries and have different race babies. I think it is fine. Really. Children need good homes. Period. I am so thankful for people willing to adopt. And I am thankful for all the people that support us in our adoption process.
Life has been rough the past few months for us. But I am just so thankful for how God has worked everything else. I am praying for my kids. Austin has really had a rough adjustment. He thinks that because we had a child who came and then left that he will have to leave someday. And that makes me sad. Our kids that we have now are ours forever. No one will take them from us. I am just praying that Austin feels that security again. It was a lot of change for his little heart to handle. I am thankful for his tender, loving heart.
God has blessed me with my children. I may never carry them in my body, but I most definitely will forever carry them in my heart!
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