Almost one year anniversary

I was thinking that in just two days, it will be my one year anniversary of having my hysterectomy. This isn't something I talk about with very many people. But it is a fact that it happened, and it has shaped the course of our lives - a God-planned change from what I wanted.

It has been a good year for me. I have felt a lot better than I really ever have. I am still having issues that need resolving. Migraines from hormonal imbalance, hot flashes - that I am here to tell you are NOT fun in any way, some infection still. But all in all, I am really glad I had the surgery.

The emotional toll is still something that I have to get through at times. I am still sad that I will never, ever get to be pregnant. But I have two beautiful children. I am so thankful for them. They are special in so many ways, one of which that they were God-chosen for our family after they were born into other families. That is so neat. They will have quite the stories to tell.

I still go through my heart-pangs when I hear that people are pregnant. I still feel sad when I see newborns, having never experienced that. But God knows what He is doing. Being healthier is such a blessing to me and to my family. I couldn't be the mother that I want to be if I hadn't had the surgery. In fact, I may not even be alive right now. That is such an amazing thing to me. There were days at this time last year that I truly thought I wouldn't live. And I'm not sure the doctors thought so either. I was headed to death's door because of severe infection. God rescued me from that.

Now I am able to be a better mommy and I even have baby number two that wasn't really a thought at this time last year. All in all, even though it was a hard thing to go through, and at times, still is, I'm glad it is over. I'm glad I am better. And I am thankful for my family and close friends who have supported me physically and emotionally through it all.

Something I haven't really addressed is my husband's wonderful attitude during all of this. He could easily have his own children, yet he is so gracious in loving me despite my inability to give him blood children. He supported adoption from the moment we discussed it before we were married. I am a blessed woman. He is the sweetest man that a woman could ask for. He is tender and understanding in the midst of illness and emotional turmoil. Thank you God for my husband and for the gift of my life!