Ugh... Just got our packet in the mail for our foster care re-licensing process. I'm not even sure I want to re-license let alone want to go through the stress of doing it right now. That's not totally true, I do want to continue adopting, but this time has been so stressful that it is hard to think past what is currently going on. And then we aren't sure whether we want to re-license as straight foster parents or just as legal-risk foster parents so that adoption is really our only option.
Right now all I want is for it to be 5 pm tomorrow so that this court date will be behind us. Then we will know what is going to happen, how long this adoption is going to take, whether we have to go back to court, ect. This has been a very difficult time for me. I am very tearful and not feeling well - probably due to the emotion of having to go to court at all... I just can't even think of losing another child this year - especially one we have had for so long.
I pray we have the clarity of mind to choose how to proceed. Based on our home size, we only can have one more child, so we have to decide which way we want to go, foster or adopt. I think maybe I am leaning towards adoption only, but there is that part of me that really wants my newborn, which would mean fostering... Oh the choices...
The meeting to re-license doesn't occur for a week and a half, so maybe we can just wait until after tomorrow to decide which way to go... That sounds reasonable to my mind that is essentially mush right now...
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