Foster Care Quandries

In the last two days, we have had two calls from foster care placement wanting us to take children. It is such a hard decision for me. We have a 2 year old and a 1 year old. I am quite busy as it is. Plus the fact that Austin is still recovering from our last foster child. While you may think that is a crazy statement, it is true. It really scared him to watch her leave and realize that she never came back. Every time someone comes into our home now, Austin asks them where he has to go. His behavior gets very out of control because he thinks then they won't want him. We are having to reassure him every single time we have a visit with our current baby's social worker, or guardian ad litem, or foster home development, that he is safe. He is ours forever. It is very sad.

Also, our baby is having horrible night terrors. It is a sad thing for a mommy to watch. While I am not at all stressed out about it, more sad, it is still a factor in choosing to take another child. It is better for now for baby to have his own room...

It is hard in foster care to not have a "save the world" syndrome. You want so badly to take every child. But we also have to decide what is best for our family. We told the foster placement team that we would help with respite care - just babysitting essentially for a few days, or we would take a newborn. So for now, those are the things we want to do. Having a 1 and a 2 year old is quite a lot for me right now. My health has been having some issues. And I just want to enjoy the children that I have for a while.

However, all that said, it doesn't stop the guilt of knowing that they want you to take a child and having to say no. I want so badly to help as many children as I can, but that will come in time. It is a heart wrenching situation that we seem to be in. But my boys that I have forever take precedence in what our family needs.

For people considering foster care, there are so many aspects that you just can't even fathom until you get in the middle of it all. I am thankful that God has chosen to bless us in this way. I pray that we will have more children come through our doors someday. And I also pray that God will show us exactly when that time is.