Today is my first day at home with all three kids by myself... It has been interesting. I am struggling with utter exhaustion. Some of it is normal for me, but adding two kids to my mix and still trying to work full time and missing a lot of sleep from traveling this week has made me really lacking in the sleep area. I am also being tested for a specific autoimmune disease that might explain the extra fatigue that I am feeling.
Having a baby again is very enjoyable, but it does add another dimension to my life... I really do love babies. And Jeremiah is such a good baby. He really only cries when he is hungry or tired... And he loves to play on the floor even by himself! He is teething and I wouldn't have even known it except that the tooth popped through.
Our daughter is doing well... We got a new social worker which has been very, very nice. She has been very helpful and has listened to all my concerns. It is so hard to be attached and know she has to leave. I have such mixed feelings about her leaving. I love her. And I am worried that the next placement isn't the best thing for her even though I really don't have a say in it. But I also realize that maybe having only two kids is best for me right now, my state of mind, and honestly my health situation.
Working full time adds a whole different dimension to having children. I don't know how people work outside of their homes. I am so blessed to be able to work at home and even at night if and when I need to.
Austin is doing ok. He is missing life the way it was. But that is normal. I think he likes the idea of being an older brother. But he isn't so sure about this small new creature in his space using his things and even wearing his old clothes. Austin is a social person though, he loves people. So I think he will adjust really, really well in time. I am concerned with how he will react if our daughter has to leave. I think he might actually miss her
Children are a blessing from God no matter how little time you have with them. It is just very hard to have to give them up... But they are God's and He loves even a sparrow that falls. So I know He will care for my kids whether they are in my home or somewhere else.
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