One year ago today was one of the most memorable days of my life. Our precious Austin went from being a foster child, who was in adoptive placement, to having all of the rights, privileges, and responsibilities of any child born into the family of Daniel and Laura Kreitler... His name he was born with was changed to one that we chose and we would no longer have to worry that he could be taken from us. From that day forever on he is absolutely, totally ours! What a wonderful feeling!!!
We had gotten the call in September of 2009 that we had been chosen as Austin's family. Then we had to wait three weeks until we could be licensed as foster parents before we could visit him. That was a LONG three weeks - knowing you had a child who was living and breathing and not being able to even see him. Then we visited him an hour away every night for almost three more weeks - even bringing him home for overnight visits and then having to take him back to his foster home, not an easy task, I assure you!! Then on November 6, he came to live with us still as a foster child. His mom hadn't lost her parental rights yet, so there was a small chance he could be taken from us. Thankfully, on January 5, her rights were taken, and then we got adoptive placement which was a lot safer. We were put in contact with a wonderful lawyer who got us a court date - March 31, 2010...
That day was an interesting day all around. We had to go about an hour and a half away to the court house in the county where Austin was born. I thought that since it was court, we should all be dressed up. So I put my dressiest dress on, Daniel put a suit on, and we even took dressy clothes to change Austin in to. We had a couple friends go with us. We got to the court house and had to go through security at which point we got in trouble for parking in the wrong spot - as if we knew since we had never been there :). We finally got all of us in, changed Austin in a gross little bathroom, and got to the court room actually on time. We met our lawyer, and two of Austin's social workers. We had been told that the judges really enjoyed adoptions so we were excited to experience it.
What an experience it was... Our judge was just busy and didn't really care why we were there. So exactly 3 minutes and 13 seconds after we walked in - even after my bumbling with a speech I didn't know I had to give, and Daniel's need for the judge to repeat questions because he had been entertaining Austin - we were officially an adoptive family!!!
What joy comes when that birth certificate is given to you with your child's new name and you listed as his parents. We could not have been more blessed with a child. God had this child picked out for us from the time that Austin was in the womb. This is not a child of MY womb, but he most certainly is the child of my heart.
Many people wonder if you can love a child you haven't given birth to - my answer? A resounding YES! This child is my child, he will always be my child. It doesn't matter who he was born to, where he was born, if I was at his birth, or the color of his skin. Austin in MY child! And he always will be - his is now our forever family!
Today is a celebration of Austin! I am so thankful for him! I am so thankful God chose him for me. I won't ever take for granted my child. It has been a long road. People sometimes tell me it went quickly for an adoption. My answer to that? It depends on where you are in that process... sometimes it felt like an absolute eternity. But were those long days and sleepless nights worth it? Absolutely!
I love you Austin! I couldn't love you more even if I had carried you and birthed you myself. Know forever, that your mommy loves you! Today is a celebration of you! We are off to the park and to play all day and have dinner later! I hope you remember these days with joy because that is how we always look on you - with utmost, indescribable joy!!!
Thursday, March 31, 2011
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
Waiting, waiting, waiting
I was able to email yesterday with the social worker who is doing the update for our foster license. We are going to be licensed for 1 foster child who is newborn to two years old and one "legal risk" foster child who is newborn to five years old. Basically what that means is that the newborn to two year old child will be a child only in foster care. This child may not be available for adoption. But we will also be licensed for a foster child who IS available for adoption just in case one comes up so that we could have either. It gives us a lot more options.
We have to have an addendum done to our original paperwork. So more waiting, waiting, waiting. I'm hoping maybe it will be done this week or next week. But since we are being fairly age specific on the babies that we would accept, it might be longer until we actually have another child in our home.
Patience becomes the word to live by when adopting or fostering. It is hard. Sometimes you just wish you knew when your kids were coming home so that you could plan. It is interesting because I'm guessing when you have a baby, you at least know that you are having a newborn and most of the time you even know if it is a boy or a girl, and you know about the time it will be born. For us, we don't know any of that. We don't know age, we don't know sex, we don't know when they will come.
For the foster baby, we could get a call and have the baby come home that very day. Nothing like excitement in life :). We are getting excited about the possible changes in our lives. And still waiting to get the paperwork in order so that we can wait to hear that a baby is coming into our home for a few days, weeks, months, or forever.
We have to have an addendum done to our original paperwork. So more waiting, waiting, waiting. I'm hoping maybe it will be done this week or next week. But since we are being fairly age specific on the babies that we would accept, it might be longer until we actually have another child in our home.
Patience becomes the word to live by when adopting or fostering. It is hard. Sometimes you just wish you knew when your kids were coming home so that you could plan. It is interesting because I'm guessing when you have a baby, you at least know that you are having a newborn and most of the time you even know if it is a boy or a girl, and you know about the time it will be born. For us, we don't know any of that. We don't know age, we don't know sex, we don't know when they will come.
For the foster baby, we could get a call and have the baby come home that very day. Nothing like excitement in life :). We are getting excited about the possible changes in our lives. And still waiting to get the paperwork in order so that we can wait to hear that a baby is coming into our home for a few days, weeks, months, or forever.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Walking the Road.
For some reason, I have been having a rough time deciding what to write today... I have had ideas for every other day so far... But today, I have started and stopped several times...
Then it hit me. I want to give a shout out today to say thank you to those walking this adoption road with us. I have several friends who have been incredible moral support though out this time. I don't know what I would do without people who are willing to listen, sympathize, cry, rejoice, with me. It's amazing to know that you have people who will listen no matter what time of the day or night it is. It is nice to know that when bad things happen, those same people will cry with you. But when the happy times come, they are just as excited as you are. I have so many friends who have been nothing but blessings to me. Thank you to each of them! I thought about naming names, but then I knew I would forget someone who means a whole lot to me.
Our families have been very supportive in this adoption journey. It isn't easy for our families either. They grieved when we grieved and they rejoiced with us when we brought Austin home for good! God has put so many people in our paths to help us walk this road.
There are a couple other people though who I am especially thankful for... I have a friend in Ohio who has adopted from foster care and she has been willing to frankly answer my questions - even the hard ones about having babies come into your home and leave. And she was honest. She helped me finally choose to pursue the foster care option...
Then I have another friend who is going through the adoption process right now through the same agency we are. It is so nice to be walking this road together. We know the same people. Daniel and I have been through what she and her husband are going through right now. So we can give a little advice and sympathize as the wait gets longer and longer. But I am getting so excited as the time draws near for them to hear about their forever children... I love walking this road with someone right now!!
God really does order our lives perfectly for each stage of our lives. I am so thankful for each person who is in our lives right now. I am thankful for the love and unconditional support we receive.
Even, honestly, the response to my blog has made me so thankful that people out there really do care about us and our journey.
So to all of you, I say thank you!
And lest I be remiss, I want to say thank you most of all to my husband. Without his undying support, this journey would be awful. He has held me while I cried, we have laughed and rejoiced together. We have agonized over the waits. But all in all, we have done it together. And because of that, we have made it as far as we have and we are looking forward to the next chapter in our adoption history together! I love you, honey!!
Then it hit me. I want to give a shout out today to say thank you to those walking this adoption road with us. I have several friends who have been incredible moral support though out this time. I don't know what I would do without people who are willing to listen, sympathize, cry, rejoice, with me. It's amazing to know that you have people who will listen no matter what time of the day or night it is. It is nice to know that when bad things happen, those same people will cry with you. But when the happy times come, they are just as excited as you are. I have so many friends who have been nothing but blessings to me. Thank you to each of them! I thought about naming names, but then I knew I would forget someone who means a whole lot to me.
Our families have been very supportive in this adoption journey. It isn't easy for our families either. They grieved when we grieved and they rejoiced with us when we brought Austin home for good! God has put so many people in our paths to help us walk this road.
There are a couple other people though who I am especially thankful for... I have a friend in Ohio who has adopted from foster care and she has been willing to frankly answer my questions - even the hard ones about having babies come into your home and leave. And she was honest. She helped me finally choose to pursue the foster care option...
Then I have another friend who is going through the adoption process right now through the same agency we are. It is so nice to be walking this road together. We know the same people. Daniel and I have been through what she and her husband are going through right now. So we can give a little advice and sympathize as the wait gets longer and longer. But I am getting so excited as the time draws near for them to hear about their forever children... I love walking this road with someone right now!!
God really does order our lives perfectly for each stage of our lives. I am so thankful for each person who is in our lives right now. I am thankful for the love and unconditional support we receive.
Even, honestly, the response to my blog has made me so thankful that people out there really do care about us and our journey.
So to all of you, I say thank you!
And lest I be remiss, I want to say thank you most of all to my husband. Without his undying support, this journey would be awful. He has held me while I cried, we have laughed and rejoiced together. We have agonized over the waits. But all in all, we have done it together. And because of that, we have made it as far as we have and we are looking forward to the next chapter in our adoption history together! I love you, honey!!
Monday, March 28, 2011
I'm All Right - My God is So Big
Each time we put Austin to bed, we sing a multitude of songs from "Deep and Wide," "My God is So Big," "Jesus Loves Me," and many, many more. And interestingly enough, Austin asks for different songs sometimes from Daniel and I.
Daniel has a song that he sings to Austin that Daniel's great-grandmother sang to him. I don't know all the words, but it is called "I'm Living Up On the Mountain." The basic theme of it is that I'm living up on the mountain and I'm all right. I have no need to worry because Jesus will take care of everything and has already provided everything we need.
The other song Austin really likes is "My God is So Big." The words are My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do, repeat phrase. The mountains are His, the valleys are His, the skies are His handiwork too... Repeat phrase.
Think about just those two songs that are Austin's favorites. What incredible meaning... Because my God is so big, so strong and so mighty - there is NOTHING my God cannot do. And because of that, I'm truly ALL RIGHT!
Sometimes I think we sit in church or sing with our children and don't spend time listening, really listening and soaking in the words. But what comfort I find in my life right now in those children's words that really are not simple at all... My God is so big - there is nothing that he cannot do!
I'm thankful that Daniel and I had parents who took us to church, sang these songs to us, so that now we can do the same for Austin and for the children God blesses us with in the future...
Daniel has a song that he sings to Austin that Daniel's great-grandmother sang to him. I don't know all the words, but it is called "I'm Living Up On the Mountain." The basic theme of it is that I'm living up on the mountain and I'm all right. I have no need to worry because Jesus will take care of everything and has already provided everything we need.
The other song Austin really likes is "My God is So Big." The words are My God is so big, so strong, and so mighty, there's nothing my God cannot do, repeat phrase. The mountains are His, the valleys are His, the skies are His handiwork too... Repeat phrase.
Think about just those two songs that are Austin's favorites. What incredible meaning... Because my God is so big, so strong and so mighty - there is NOTHING my God cannot do. And because of that, I'm truly ALL RIGHT!
Sometimes I think we sit in church or sing with our children and don't spend time listening, really listening and soaking in the words. But what comfort I find in my life right now in those children's words that really are not simple at all... My God is so big - there is nothing that he cannot do!
I'm thankful that Daniel and I had parents who took us to church, sang these songs to us, so that now we can do the same for Austin and for the children God blesses us with in the future...
Sunday, March 27, 2011
Can I really???
My Austin is very sick right now. He has asthma, so tends to catch every respiratory illness that even looks sideways at him... Right now, I'm beginning to think he has bronchitis... We have all the medicine for croup, but this time it doesn't seem to be going there (which is a happy first :). Because of his illness, I have been up at odd times rocking him, listening for him to breathe his next breath, ect. It allows for a lot of good praying and thinking time.
Last night, in my devotions (I am reading a book entitled "Live Relationally Lessons from the Women in Genesis" by Lenya Heitzig and Penny Rose) I came across a quote that is making me think. The book is a really interesting look at women that you don't think much about. Right now it is Noah's wife. I finished her section last night. The quote at the end of the lesson is what my heart is pondering right now.
"Meek endurance and meek obedience, the accepting of His dealing, of whatever complexion they are and however they may tear and desolate our hearts, without murmuring, without sulking, without rebellion or resistance, is the deepest conception of the meekness which Christ pronounced blessed."
Wow. Can I really live like this? Accepting no matter what God sends without murmuring, sulking, rebellion, or resistance no matter how it tears at my heart? Can I really do that?
Looking at it in my present situation regarding our fostering newborns, I wonder if I can really have meek endurance and meek obedience... That is a tall order when your heart is breaking. But to have Christ pronounce me blessed, I think it is worth it. But it is hard to remember that as you walk through the sometimes super dark times.
It even applies somewhat to my poor Austin being sick. I hate it so much that he is struggling to breathe, that his whole body is wracked with coughs. Can I be meekly accepting even though it breaks my heart... Every mom experiences her child being sick, but I think every mom also resists the illness. I would rather be sick than have my child be sick for sure.
So back to my original question, can I really live with meek endurance and meek obedience? I pray I can. I think it will be a day by day walk to remember that in the end I want to have Christ pronounce me blessed.
Last night, in my devotions (I am reading a book entitled "Live Relationally Lessons from the Women in Genesis" by Lenya Heitzig and Penny Rose) I came across a quote that is making me think. The book is a really interesting look at women that you don't think much about. Right now it is Noah's wife. I finished her section last night. The quote at the end of the lesson is what my heart is pondering right now.
"Meek endurance and meek obedience, the accepting of His dealing, of whatever complexion they are and however they may tear and desolate our hearts, without murmuring, without sulking, without rebellion or resistance, is the deepest conception of the meekness which Christ pronounced blessed."
Wow. Can I really live like this? Accepting no matter what God sends without murmuring, sulking, rebellion, or resistance no matter how it tears at my heart? Can I really do that?
Looking at it in my present situation regarding our fostering newborns, I wonder if I can really have meek endurance and meek obedience... That is a tall order when your heart is breaking. But to have Christ pronounce me blessed, I think it is worth it. But it is hard to remember that as you walk through the sometimes super dark times.
It even applies somewhat to my poor Austin being sick. I hate it so much that he is struggling to breathe, that his whole body is wracked with coughs. Can I be meekly accepting even though it breaks my heart... Every mom experiences her child being sick, but I think every mom also resists the illness. I would rather be sick than have my child be sick for sure.
So back to my original question, can I really live with meek endurance and meek obedience? I pray I can. I think it will be a day by day walk to remember that in the end I want to have Christ pronounce me blessed.
Saturday, March 26, 2011
"They Chose Me"
This song has become one of my absolute favorite songs! I have included the lyrics. It is not only a beautiful tune, it has amazing words! Adoption is the way we are growing our family - but it is also such an amazing picture of what Jesus did for us! He gave so much more than anything we can give - He gave His life so that we could live with Him forever. That is such a wonderful, beautiful thought! Jesus knows just how terrible I am. He knows my thoughts that no one else knows. And yet, He still CHOSE me! I hope that if you are reading this and you don't know Jesus personally that you will take the time to get to know Him. Jesus chose you! As miraculous as I think adoption is in this life - spiritual adoption is a far greater miracle!
As I go through this adoption journey I want to make sure that I point all of this back to Jesus. Sometimes it is hard on the dark days to see the big picture. But it is a blessing to know that God has all of this planned. These hard days are only for a minute and the joy of this will last a lot longer than the pain! Weeping may endure for a night, but joy comes in the morning!
They Chose Me
writer: Debbie L. Rice
Scared and all alone
In the orphan home
No mom or dad
To sing them lullabies’
Waiting night and day
Just to hear them sa
“Too young”, “Too old”
“Not right”, “We’re just not sure"
They sing themselves to sleep
They know no other way
No family to teach
Them how to pray
They long to feel the love
A family can give
Their empty eyes reflect
The life they live
(Chorus)
Why can’t we see?
Why can’t we hear?
The empty lives
Just waiting to be filled
Why can’t we be
His hands and feet
Why can’t we change the world
For just one tiny life.
Why can’t it be:
“They chose me”.
(Bridge)
That’s how it is with Jesus
He chose you as His own
He saw your situation
He knew you had no hope
He never would forsake you
He knew just what to do…..
He chose you.
(Chorus)
Why can’t we be
His hands and feet
Why can’t we change the world
Just one life at a time
We’re all the same
All in His name
A family adopted by the Son
Why can’t we see…
Why can’t it be… “They chose Me”
©Debbie L. Rice (BMI) 2006
Beginnings
I have decided to join the blogging revolution. I don't know if anyone will read what I write. But I think I am doing it more for myself than anyone else. Sometimes writing my thoughts helps ease the emotions in my heart.
I want to write this to chronicle our adoption journey. I have a journal that I wrote during Austin's adoption. Now we are venturing into the world of adoption number 2. This time, it appears that it may be a lot diffent.
Let me explain, I have known for years that I wouldn't be able to have children of my own. So when my husband I got married, we already planned on adoption. It still wasn't easy. It is a built in feature of a woman to want to carry her own child, even go through labor, experience those sleepless nights, ect. Yet, that wasn't and isn't God's plan for me. Adoption for us the first time was fairly easy - not short or simple, but there wasn't too much heartache involved. The process is briefly as follows: We had to do a 9 week parenting class, a 130 plus page essay application, a home study, lots of waiting, eventually a phone call that we had been chosen for a child (because he was still in foster care - then there was a foster care application, fingerprints, home study, ect), 3 weeks of visiting, and finally, we brought Austin home. In another about 5 months, we were finally able to go before a judge and have him adopted into our family with all of the rights, responsibilities and privileges of any child that we might have had biologically. What an amazing feeling that day was!!!
Now a year after that adoption day, we are starting a different kind of journey. Two weeks ago, we found out through word-of-mouth that there was a baby born in Miami that was up for private adoption. It looked like a fail-safe option. I was so excited at the prospect of a newborn. In our foster care adoption journey newborns are practically impossible to get. I named this baby boy, and I loved him so much from the minute we heard about him... Then this adoption fell through. I will be honest, the pain is unbearable. There have been many depressed days, many, many tears. But God knows. And He didn't have this baby planned for us.
Because of the loss of this baby, God has planted a seed in my heart to really want to try to get a newborn... Private adoption has become a closed door for our family at this time... So our new journey - straight fostering newborns in the hope that one of them will eventually come up for adoption.
Wow, this is a scary prospect. The State tries very hard to reunify every child taken to their families. So foster families have the job of loving these kids as they are away from their families and preparing them also to go home... Not an easy task, I can assure you... Sometimes, these kids do become available for adoption...
This is our hope. Our Austin had a foster mom who loved him like her own. And because of that, he learned to bond... If he hadn't learned to bond, he never would have bonded with us after we brought him into our home. So this is an amazing opportunity we are embarking on. We are going to love these children like our own and teach them how to love as well so that when they move on, they can bond and have stable foundations in life...
It is a scary prospect though. How do you love a child and then lose them? I can't answer that yet. I am scared yet excited. I can finally hopefully experience my newborn. I look forward to the sleepless nights. I may not when I am so tired I can't stand up. But for now, I think this is God's mission for us at the moment. I pray that we will quickly have a baby in our home who we can adopt and have as our forever child.
But I trust God to give us the grace to make it through this journey that He has entrusted us with. We would covet prayers as this is an experience we have not ever encountered. And I know that it will be heart wrenching as well as wonderful along the way.
I want to write this blog as an encouragement to those who are thinking about adopting or just for those who might want to pray with us along the way.
I want to write this to chronicle our adoption journey. I have a journal that I wrote during Austin's adoption. Now we are venturing into the world of adoption number 2. This time, it appears that it may be a lot diffent.
Let me explain, I have known for years that I wouldn't be able to have children of my own. So when my husband I got married, we already planned on adoption. It still wasn't easy. It is a built in feature of a woman to want to carry her own child, even go through labor, experience those sleepless nights, ect. Yet, that wasn't and isn't God's plan for me. Adoption for us the first time was fairly easy - not short or simple, but there wasn't too much heartache involved. The process is briefly as follows: We had to do a 9 week parenting class, a 130 plus page essay application, a home study, lots of waiting, eventually a phone call that we had been chosen for a child (because he was still in foster care - then there was a foster care application, fingerprints, home study, ect), 3 weeks of visiting, and finally, we brought Austin home. In another about 5 months, we were finally able to go before a judge and have him adopted into our family with all of the rights, responsibilities and privileges of any child that we might have had biologically. What an amazing feeling that day was!!!
Now a year after that adoption day, we are starting a different kind of journey. Two weeks ago, we found out through word-of-mouth that there was a baby born in Miami that was up for private adoption. It looked like a fail-safe option. I was so excited at the prospect of a newborn. In our foster care adoption journey newborns are practically impossible to get. I named this baby boy, and I loved him so much from the minute we heard about him... Then this adoption fell through. I will be honest, the pain is unbearable. There have been many depressed days, many, many tears. But God knows. And He didn't have this baby planned for us.
Because of the loss of this baby, God has planted a seed in my heart to really want to try to get a newborn... Private adoption has become a closed door for our family at this time... So our new journey - straight fostering newborns in the hope that one of them will eventually come up for adoption.
Wow, this is a scary prospect. The State tries very hard to reunify every child taken to their families. So foster families have the job of loving these kids as they are away from their families and preparing them also to go home... Not an easy task, I can assure you... Sometimes, these kids do become available for adoption...
This is our hope. Our Austin had a foster mom who loved him like her own. And because of that, he learned to bond... If he hadn't learned to bond, he never would have bonded with us after we brought him into our home. So this is an amazing opportunity we are embarking on. We are going to love these children like our own and teach them how to love as well so that when they move on, they can bond and have stable foundations in life...
It is a scary prospect though. How do you love a child and then lose them? I can't answer that yet. I am scared yet excited. I can finally hopefully experience my newborn. I look forward to the sleepless nights. I may not when I am so tired I can't stand up. But for now, I think this is God's mission for us at the moment. I pray that we will quickly have a baby in our home who we can adopt and have as our forever child.
But I trust God to give us the grace to make it through this journey that He has entrusted us with. We would covet prayers as this is an experience we have not ever encountered. And I know that it will be heart wrenching as well as wonderful along the way.
I want to write this blog as an encouragement to those who are thinking about adopting or just for those who might want to pray with us along the way.
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